Clean Up

Grace Are you done washing up? 

Jim Almost! Just one more dish left. 

Grace You could have done the dishes later. We are in the middle of a movie. 

Jim There! I am done. 

Grace Well?! Come on now! 

Jim My hands feel rough and uneven like the surface of the moon, and dry. Let me just apply some cream, and I will be right there. 

Grace You know, I think you are showing symptoms of OCD. 

Jim This is no OCD. This is necessary. I have dry skin. If I don’t keep it moisturized it will soon start cracking, then bleeding, then God knows what. 

Grace Then it is your dry skin that is giving you OCD? Case in point, you don’t get dry skin if you do not wash your dishes. In fact, you will get dry skin if you do. How about that? 

Jim Then who will do my dishes? I will have to do my dishes anyway, if not now, two hours later, or tomorrow. By then the crumbs will have proudly cemented their positions and declared independence on the plate, and then I will have to play the negotiator and evict them for improper possession of my property. 

Grace Doesn’t sound like sound logic to me. 

Jim Then what about the awful smell of leftovers? One of the reasons why waiters in restaurants take the dishes after you have finished each course is so that you don’t have to look at or smell crumbs on the plate. 

Grace That isn’t sound logic either. You are losing it. Why else would you keep wiping a perfectly clean table? 

Jim I have dust allergy. My sinuses swell when the dust enters my nose. I have had this problem since childhood. 

Grace And, you also have pet allergy? I have seen you sneaking into the toilet to wash your hands after petting a perfectly domesticated and well-groomed animal. 

Jim Hey, what are getting at?! 

Grace O … C … D. 

Jim You know you have to wash used equipment in the lab, you know why? 

Grace Why? 

Jim Because, in the lab, people work with so many different kinds of carcinogens that any contact with naked skin and you could be well on your way to Radiology. 

Grace I think that’s why they have invented something called gloves. I think after we finish this movie, you should 'clean up' the hard disk of your computer, or maybe I will do it for you. I would love to see the expression on your face!

Dwaipayan Adhya
Location: Cambridge, UK

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