Tapasvi’s Language Thing and PK’s Return


Tapasvi Maharaj:
Many ages ago, the whole universe used to speak the same language. Everybody was friendly and understood each other. But soon they became so well acquainted with each other that they did little else other than talk. This habit of talking, which used to be perceived as a very healthy exercise, soon became a problem. The collective power of human beings rose to such level because of this that all creatures of the planet were being wiped out, and soon there were very little wildlife left on earth. As centuries passed, humans evolved to talk louder and louder, and soon they were talking so loud that the din of the voices was proving to be a distraction for Lord Shiva, who enjoyed nothing better than meditating in peace. He was soon aroused from his meditation and quickly developed a temper. He had to come down to earth as an avatar and mingle among the humans to see what was going on. His peregrinations astounded him. Humans were talking so much that they were soon becoming scatter-brained, then falling off the wagon and losing their mind, or what we call today, becoming insane. They became like penguins standing on the edge of the cliff like Pied Piper’s rats. When one jumped, everyone jumped with him and soon the whole human race had sunk low into the pits of insanity. To stem this disease and bring order in the world again, and then to go back to his meditation, Shiva hatched a plan. It was brilliant, because it worked. Shiva created the language barrier. He couldn’t make humans stop talking because he realised very early that it was not possible. He couldn’t spread his own message because nobody was listening anymore. So he went back to the Himalayas, and started meditating to send messengers, several of them to mix freely in the population. Only this time they would be speaking in a different language. Amazingly, this broke the flow of Pied Piper’s rats, and soon the foreign language began to spread, and more it spread, more humans came out of their misery. It was like a dam to break the flow of a fearsome river. He had once broken the spirit of a river a long time ago. This time, he saved the world from the torrents of the talking disease.

There was pin drop silence in the hall. His followers were listening to him in the most hypnotic way. Tapasvi called a name and one of his sevaks came out with a long rectangular box. Tapasvi opened it and took out its contents.

Tapasvi:
The damru was taken away from us by trickery, but that hasn’t reduced our faith in God. After much penance, we have been gifted another article as a reward for the faith we have shown. We have been gifted a lock of hair belonging to none other than Lord Shiva. This lock of hair is from the same head that tamed Ganga and prevented her from destroying the earth with her deluge. This lock of hair is significant. This was another evidence of how much Shiva loves us and what sacrifices he has made to save mankind, first from Ganga and then from the talking disease. I am just his messenger, on the earth to carry out his divine plans. In today’s world, the language of the internet has made people jump into a world filled with insanity, and I am here to save you all from it. Donate freely, relinquish all your precious possessions including all your mobile phones and tablets here in this auspicious gathering.

The crowd seemed very pleased, and started throwing flowers at the stage where he was standing. A few hundred had gathered that day and the blessed show filled Tapasvi’s heart with immense satisfaction.
But while this grand show was taking place in the hall, twitter was going crazy, and Tapasvi’s baffled managers had to interrupt him to explain the online calamity. People were posting #throweggontapasviface and #wewantPK hastags on twitter and facebook.
Thousands of people were posting all over social media in the hope that it would reach PK, and it actually did.
(on PK's planet)
Some of the messages were intercepted by PK’s planet and they even watched a video on YouTube one attendee at Tapasvi’s gathering had made of his speech. They laughed about it. Still unable to control his laughter, the information minister of the planet asked PK to meet him.
PK arrived.

PK:
I know love is a waste of time, but Jaggu is taken now and I don’t have any right over her. I also don’t want to waste my time going through another debate with that knuckled-headed Tapasvi. I travelled fifty light years last time only to lose my remote to petty thieves! They also made me wear clothes. They are so primitive that they are unable to respect women if they are not wearing clothes. And, then there is the language. Most of them speak something but mean something else. Then there are so many languages that if you think you have done great by learning one language, then think again! And now, internet is finally bringing people closer, that this Tapasvi … Anyway, I much prefer telepathy and if I travel again to earth, by twin paradox, I will be too old and won’t have much time with my family when I come back.

With this he left the room.
But, in the end he agreed to go. The minister cajoled him and persuaded him to take his family.
This is how PK ended up back on earth after so much incident the last time.

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